Finding the Right Mate
Written By Robert on February 26th, 2010
How do you catch the RIGHT one? Simple: You take only the bus that’s headed in the RIGHT DIRECTION. First we must allow our Heavenly Father to do the picking. And second, the decision for a mate must be made on a spiritual and intellectual basis before it’s made on an emotional one. “What about love? Shouldn’t that be the third?”, you ask. No, and I’ll tell you why. “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? (Jer 17:9). The heart is wilful and is driven by its own agenda. It does not consider things rationally and intelligently – it just loves to love! Therefore you have to point it in the right directions: “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life” (Proverbs 4:23). Whenever you meet a man, you need to get clearance from God, check out his attributes, and then allow your heart to engage. Dating exists not for mating; it exists for collecting data. I believe that the biblical design would be friendship, courtship and then marriage. Friendship is two people walking together in agreement and accountability, learning and growing together. Courtship follows the mutual agreement to commit to one another exclusively -it is the decisive turning toward the agreed- upon goal of the marriage altar. It is a period of laying a foundation and preparing your life together after marriage. But dating? Well, if you do date, use the time wisely to gather facts
Researched by Kevin Pierre
Hi, your statement says: “Whenever you meet a man, you need to get clearance from God, check out his attributes, and then allow your heart to engage.” My Question: Working on the premise that God is the One who does, and should do the choosing of a companion for the believer, why then should you “check out the person’s attributes” if you are convinced that you “got clearance from God? Isn’t it a contradiction of terms? Would God give you “clearance” to go forward if God has not already determined that this is the one? God bless.
I understand clearly what you are saying, yes as long as God does the picking for us, we do not have to worry, but remember we as God’s people have to keep in close connection with Him and renew our relationship with Him (GOD)daily. We also have to put Him first in our relationship. (pray together, worship together, study together, and leave sex for after marriage). If that does not happens, then we are in for a rude awakening. Attitudes would change and problems would arise. I’ve always leant that whateva we put infront of God, He will take it away from us…. so, we need to always put God first, even in our RELATIONSHIPS. God Bless!
Yes, God gives the clearance. He would indicate to us that the certain individual is the right prerson. He God shows us things, He does not do everything for us, He did not create us as puppets. Therefore we are to check out his attributes, because if we don’t then we would be blindly going into a relationship, which would clearly be dangerous. God give us the ‘go ahead’, and expects us to do the rest on our own (we are individual who were given the ability to think, chose, make decisions, etc), and we are therefore to collect data, as the extract says. So, yes, we are to “check out his attributes” even when we are given the clearance from God. *Blessings*
but these days the young ladies don’t want friends first they want thirst
thirst meaning they don’t want to wait or get to know you. I believe that if or whe you meet that special person you should really take time to get to knoow them. basically what you said.
thirst wanting to know you as how Adam knew Eve. Basically what was said in the article I totally I agree. that young people or couples shold take time to know each other. for me if I can not meet you mentally, not saying that I don’t enjoy God’s creation but that not all to a relationship.
As a young woman, I must disagree nigel. The young ladies I associate with, including myself, is disgusted by “thirsty” men (and women). There is a process in getting to know someone. The first step is (should be) association then comes friendship. You need to pray, because it seems like you had some bad encounters. Don’t give up, trust in God brother.
what is thirst? may I ask.
Kevin I totally agree with the guidelines that you stated above and as a youth leader, I pray that the youth today would follow these guidelines. Up to today, I was having a discussion with a friend on some E. G. White guidelines on courtship. I think prayer is extremely important, especially when dating. I love how you put it, God must do the picking! I’ve seen the outcome of many relationship decisions made without God’s approval and the outcome – huh… disastrous!
So should I trust a woman since I wout b able to read her heart
Personally, I don’t think that’s possible. If you are having doubts and concerns about her, then she’s not “God sent”. God may not have given you clearance. You can also ask God to show you signs to show whether she’s the right person or not e.g. for rain to fall on a certain day or something. But if you are to do that you have to have TOTAL faith and trust in God. Trust God, He’ll come through for you.
Excellent guidance!
I must agree with Michael, its excellent guidance. If a handbook could be made and be given out the young people at church, it would be nice. This is information to always have on hand.
what nigel said is not totally true men thirst more than women if they can’t have sex with someone they don’t want the relationship. It wasn’t God’s plan to have sex before marraige but man changed it and society added to the pie. I have been with a guy for seven years i got baptized and couldn’t have sex anymore and he dumped me no sex no love thats the world today
This relationship thing is hard one question How do you know that God has done the choosing for you? How do you know when God has spoken to you and told you if someone is the right person or the wrong person? I wonder sometimes I met this guy and he is great but how do I know if he could be the one don’t want to be wasting time
God has ways of revealing things to you, and He may reveal it in a way that maybe only you may understand. God’s timing is PREFECT, there’s no wasting timeonce God is guiding you. When that special delivery arrives, you’ll know it’s from God. Don’t lose faith.
how do you know when God sends the ‘one’. When they all think and look alike. Then the males on the outside are better than the ones on the inside. Then what are we as ladies supposed to do?
Sister, I used to think exactly like that, “the males outside are better than the ones inside”. That is not true. Everyone has Faults, No-one is perfect and includes you and I. When the right person comes, and when I say right i mean ‘God sent’ right, you’ll know. God has ways He’ll reveal it to you and you would have never guessed it would have been through ‘that’ medium. Have patience sis. don’t rush God, Hid timing is PERFECT, even thought it may seem like He’s taking long. If you don’t wait, trust me, you’ll REGRET it (talking from experience). The ones inside are actually better than the ones outside, it may be difficult to believe. It was difficult for me to believe. But it’s true. It is actually true. Have faith sis.